Welcome to Great British Pen Pals

We’re delighted to welcome you to our community.

At the heart of what we do is something very simple: bringing people together through the joy of writing and receiving letters. Our community is built on kindness, friendship, understanding, empathy and respect. We want everyone who takes part to feel safe, comfortable and valued, while enjoying the opportunity to get to know someone new.

These Community Guidelines have been created to help make that possible. They set out the standards we ask everyone to follow and explain what is, and is not, appropriate when taking part.

We ask you to take a little time to read through them before writing your first letter and to come back to them whenever you need to. The guidelines apply to everyone taking part and to all correspondence exchanged through the programme.

While we have tried to make them as clear and helpful as possible, no set of guidelines can cover every situation. If correspondence or behaviour is unsafe, inappropriate, exploitative, threatening or goes against the spirit of our community, we may take appropriate action even if that particular situation is not specifically mentioned.

Above all, please remember that there is a real person at the other end of every letter. A few thoughtful words can mean a great deal, so write with kindness, consideration and respect, and enjoy the simple pleasure of making a new connection through the post.

From our post box to yours, welcome.
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1. 1. Respectful Communication

1.1 All correspondence should be written with kindness, consideration and respect.

1.2 Participants must not use abusive, threatening, deliberately offensive, excessively vulgar or inappropriate language.

1.3 Participants should be considerate of their Pen Pal's feelings, experiences, circumstances and personal boundaries.

1.4 Disagreements are sometimes a natural part of getting to know another person. Participants may have different opinions, beliefs and experiences, but differences should always be discussed respectfully.

1.5 Participants must not deliberately write content intended to upset, humiliate, frighten, shame or distress their Pen Pal.
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2. Discrimination, Bullying and Harassment

2.1 Discrimination or derogatory behaviour of any kind will not be tolerated.

2.2 Participants must not insult, demean, ridicule or degrade another person because of characteristics including, but not limited to, their race, nationality, ethnic background, sex, gender, sexual orientation, disability, age, religion or belief.

2.3 Bullying, harassment, intimidation or persistent unwanted behaviour is prohibited.

2.4 Participants must respect boundaries expressed by their Pen Pal. If someone asks for a particular subject or behaviour to stop, that request should be respected.

2.5 Participants must not attempt to manipulate, pressure, guilt or coerce their Pen Pal into saying, sharing or doing something with which they are uncomfortable.

2.6 Jokes, humour or comments that are discriminatory, sexually inappropriate, threatening, humiliating or likely to cause serious offence should not be included in correspondence.
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3. Personal Information, Privacy and Contact Outside the Programme

Protecting personal information is an important part of keeping our community safe.

3.1 All correspondence should be sent through the Great British Pen Pals postal arrangements provided to participants.

3.2 Participants should not provide their home address or another private address for the purpose of receiving correspondence directly.

3.3 Participants must not exchange telephone numbers, personal email addresses, social media details or other direct contact information unless this has been agreed through the Great British Pen Pals Personal Details Consent process.

3.4 Participants must not attempt to circumvent these rules by asking their Pen Pal to search for them on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, X, LinkedIn or any other social media or online platform.

3.5 Participants should not attempt to locate or contact their Pen Pal independently online without their knowledge and the appropriate consent.

3.6 Participants should take care when sharing information such as their full date of birth, workplace, school, daily routine or precise location.

3.7 Participants must not request passwords, PINs, login information or other confidential information.

3.8 Participants should never share answers commonly used for security questions, including a mother's maiden name, first school, first pet, place of birth or similar identifying information.

3.9 Participants should also respect the privacy of other people and should not disclose sensitive or confidential information about friends, relatives or other third parties unnecessarily.

3.10 Where participants mutually wish to exchange personal contact information, they should contact Great British Pen Pals and follow our Personal Details Consent process.
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4. Relationships, Dating and Sexual Content

Great British Pen Pals exists to create friendships through letter writing. It is not a dating or matchmaking service.

4.1 Participants must not use the programme primarily for the purpose of seeking a romantic or sexual relationship.

4.2 Sexually explicit, sexually suggestive or otherwise inappropriate sexual content is prohibited.

4.3 Participants must not send sexual comments, propositions, explicit descriptions, sexual jokes or inappropriate innuendo.

4.4 Participants must not request or send nude, sexually explicit or otherwise inappropriate photographs or images.

4.5 Participants must not pressure another participant to discuss their sexual experiences, relationships or other intimate matters.

4.6 Where one participant indicates that romantic, flirtatious or sexual comments are unwanted, they must stop immediately.
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5. Drugs, Alcohol, Smoking and Other Substances

We recognise that alcohol, smoking or experiences involving substance misuse may sometimes naturally arise when people talk about their lives. Simply mentioning these subjects appropriately does not automatically constitute a breach of these guidelines.

5.1 Participants must not encourage, promote or pressure another participant to use illegal drugs, misuse medication or experiment with controlled or harmful substances.

5.2 Participants must not provide instructions or advice about obtaining, producing, supplying or using illegal drugs.

5.3 Participants must not offer, request, buy, sell or arrange the supply of illegal drugs or controlled substances through the programme.

5.4 Participants must not encourage excessive or harmful consumption of alcohol.

5.5 Participants must not pressure or encourage another participant to smoke or vape.

5.6 Personal experiences involving addiction, recovery or substance misuse may be discussed sensitively where appropriate, provided the content does not encourage harmful behaviour or place an unreasonable burden upon the recipient.
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6. Money, Gifts and Financial Safety

Great British Pen Pals is about friendship, not financial exchange.

6.1 Participants must not ask their Pen Pal for money.

6.2 Participants should not offer or send money to their Pen Pal.

6.3 Participants must not request loans, donations, financial assistance, gift cards, vouchers, bank transfers or other forms of payment.

6.4 Participants must not pressure or encourage their Pen Pal to purchase goods or services on their behalf.

6.5 Participants must not request bank account numbers, card details, PINs, payment account information, passwords or other sensitive financial information.

6.6 Participants must not ask their Pen Pal to receive, hold, transfer or forward money on their behalf.

6.7 Participants must not ask their Pen Pal to receive, purchase or forward goods on their behalf where doing so involves financial cost, risk or obligation.

6.8 Participants must not promote investments, cryptocurrency schemes, business opportunities, pyramid schemes, multi-level marketing schemes or similar financial arrangements to their Pen Pal.

6.9 Participants must never make their Pen Pal feel responsible for providing financial support.

6.10 Small, inexpensive tokens sent voluntarily may be acceptable where appropriate, but gifts must never be requested, expected or used to create pressure or obligation. Participants should never send money or items of significant financial value.
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7. Violence, Threats, Weapons and Criminal Activity

7.1 Threatening, intimidating or menacing correspondence is prohibited.

7.2 Participants must not threaten violence or harm against their Pen Pal, themselves or another person.

7.3 Graphic or gratuitous descriptions or images of serious violence should not be included in correspondence.

7.4 Participants must not encourage, glorify or provide instructions for serious violence or other harmful behaviour.

7.5 Participants must not use Great British Pen Pals to plan, encourage, facilitate or seek assistance with criminal activity.

7.6 Participants must not attempt to buy, sell or arrange prohibited or illegal goods or services through their correspondence.
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8. Sensitive and Potentially Distressing Content

Friendships sometimes involve discussing difficult experiences. Great British Pen Pals does not want participants to feel that they cannot talk about challenges in their lives, but these conversations should remain considerate of the person receiving the letter.

8.1 Participants may discuss difficult life experiences sensitively and appropriately.

8.2 Graphic descriptions of self-harm, suicide, abuse, violence or other severely distressing subjects should not be included in correspondence.

8.3 Participants must never encourage, promote or provide instructions relating to self-harm or suicide.

8.4 Participants should not place responsibility for their safety, wellbeing or emotional welfare upon their Pen Pal.

8.5 A Pen Pal should never be made to feel personally responsible for resolving another participant's crisis or difficult circumstances.

8.6 If correspondence causes you concern for someone's immediate safety or welfare, please report this to Great British Pen Pals as soon as possible.
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9. Religion, Politics and Personal Beliefs

Our community brings together people with different backgrounds, beliefs and opinions. Respectful discussion and sharing of personal experiences is welcome.

9.1 Participants may respectfully discuss their religious beliefs, political opinions and personal values.

9.2 Participants must respect their Pen Pal's right to hold different beliefs and opinions.

9.3 Participants must not repeatedly pressure another person to adopt or abandon a particular religion, political belief or ideology.

9.4 Participants must not use the programme to recruit, radicalise or improperly influence another participant on behalf of a political, religious or ideological organisation or cause.

9.5 If a Pen Pal asks for a particular religious, political or ideological discussion to stop, that request should be respected.
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10. Photographs, Images and Other Enclosures

10.1 Any photographs, pictures, cards or other items included with correspondence must be appropriate.

10.2 Nude, sexually explicit, violent, hateful or otherwise seriously inappropriate images must never be sent.

10.3 Particular care should be taken before sharing photographs of children or other people. Participants should consider whether they have permission to share another person's image.

10.4 Participants must not use QR codes, website links, usernames or other material to deliberately circumvent Great British Pen Pals' rules concerning the exchange of personal contact information.

10.5 Participants must not send illegal, dangerous, threatening or otherwise prohibited items through the programme.
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11. Safeguarding Children and Adults at Risk

The safety and wellbeing of children and adults who may be at risk is of the highest importance to Great British Pen Pals.

11.1 All communication with children and adults who may be at risk must remain appropriate, respectful and consistent with the purpose of the Pen Pal programme.

11.2 Participants must never engage a child or adult at risk in sexualised, exploitative, manipulative or otherwise inappropriate conversation.

11.3 Participants must not ask a child or adult at risk to keep inappropriate correspondence, conversations, gifts or relationships secret from a parent, guardian, carer, responsible adult or Great British Pen Pals.

11.4 Participants must not attempt to establish unauthorised private contact with a child or adult at risk outside the Great British Pen Pals programme.

11.5 Participants must not request inappropriate personal information, photographs or contact details from a child or adult at risk.

11.6 Any correspondence that raises a safeguarding concern should be reported to Great British Pen Pals as soon as possible.

11.7 Where Great British Pen Pals believes that a child or adult may be at risk of harm, we may take immediate safeguarding action and, where appropriate, share relevant information with the appropriate safeguarding organisation, statutory authority or emergency service.
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12. Commercial Activity, Advertising and Solicitation

12.1 Participants must not use their Pen Pal relationship primarily to advertise or sell products or services.

12.2 Participants must not pressure their Pen Pal to make purchases, investments or financial contributions.

12.3 Participants must not use correspondence to recruit people into commercial schemes, investment opportunities, multi-level marketing organisations or similar ventures.

12.4 Participants must not solicit charitable donations, sponsorship or financial contributions from their Pen Pal without prior approval from Great British Pen Pals.
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13. Honesty and Identity

13.1 Participants should communicate honestly and in good faith.

13.2 Participants must not deliberately impersonate another person or use a false identity for the purpose of deceiving, exploiting or manipulating another participant.

13.3 Participants must not falsely claim to represent Great British Pen Pals or another organisation.

13.4 Participants must not deliberately provide materially false information for the purpose of obtaining money, gifts, personal information or another benefit from their Pen Pal.
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14. Respecting Boundaries and Ending Correspondence

We hope every Pen Pal pairing develops into an enjoyable friendship, but nobody is required to continue correspondence if they no longer feel comfortable doing so.

14.1 Participants have the right to establish reasonable personal boundaries within their correspondence.

14.2 Participants should respect requests not to discuss particular subjects.

14.3 Participants must not pressure, intimidate or guilt another participant into continuing a Pen Pal relationship.

14.4 If you no longer wish to continue writing to your Pen Pal, you may contact Great British Pen Pals for assistance.

14.5 Where appropriate, Great British Pen Pals may end a pairing and, where possible, consider arranging a new match.

14.6 Participants must not attempt to continue unwanted contact outside the programme after a pairing has ended.
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15. Reporting a Concern or Making a Complaint

The Community Guidelines above are there to help everyone taking part in Great British Pen Pals feel safe, respected and comfortable.

If you believe that another participant has not followed these guidelines, or if something you have received has made you feel uncomfortable or concerned, we encourage you to tell us.

You can report a concern or make a complaint to Great British Pen Pals using the complaint or concern form available on our website.

When contacting us, please provide as much relevant information as possible. Where available, this should include a copy, photograph or other evidence of the correspondence concerned. If you know which part of the Community Guidelines you believe has been breached, you can also include the relevant guideline number.

We will consider concerns carefully and fairly. Where appropriate, we may contact the person who raised the concern for further information and may also contact the participant concerned to give them an opportunity to respond.

Relevant information relating to complaints, concerns, warnings, safeguarding matters and breaches of these Community Guidelines may be retained where necessary for the safe administration of Great British Pen Pals and in accordance with our applicable data protection arrangements.

Where possible and appropriate, concerns will be handled sensitively and information will only be shared where there is a legitimate reason to do so.

Knowingly making a malicious or deliberately false complaint about another participant may itself be considered a breach of these Community Guidelines.
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16. Warnings, Suspension and Removal

Our priority is to maintain a safe, respectful and welcoming community.

Where we believe that any of the Community Guidelines above have been breached, we will consider the nature and seriousness of what has happened, the circumstances surrounding it, whether the behaviour has happened before and whether any previous advice or warnings have been given.

Depending on the circumstances, Great British Pen Pals may:

- provide advice or guidance;
- ask a participant to amend or rewrite correspondence;
- issue a formal warning;
- temporarily suspend correspondence;
- end a particular Pen Pal pairing;
- permanently remove a participant from Great British Pen Pals; or
- take any other reasonable action considered necessary to protect participants or the programme.

Not every breach will result in the same action. A relatively minor or first-time concern may be dealt with through advice or a warning, while more serious behaviour may require immediate action.

A warning does not have to be issued before somebody is suspended or removed. Serious misconduct may result in immediate suspension or permanent removal from Great British Pen Pals.

Repeated breaches of these Community Guidelines, including repeated lower-level breaches after advice or warnings have been given, may result in permanent removal.

Anyone who has been suspended, restricted or permanently removed must not attempt to circumvent that decision by registering again using different details or by attempting to make contact through another route.

Great British Pen Pals reserves the right to make the final decision regarding continued participation in the programme where reasonably necessary to protect the safety, wellbeing and integrity of our community.
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17. Serious Safeguarding or Criminal Concerns

Some concerns are sufficiently serious that Great British Pen Pals may need to take immediate action.

Where correspondence or behaviour raises a concern about the safety or welfare of a child, an adult at risk or another person, we may immediately suspend correspondence or take other appropriate steps while the matter is considered. In these circumstances, we may need to act before contacting the participant concerned.

Where we reasonably believe that information should be shared in order to protect somebody from harm, relevant information may be referred to an appropriate safeguarding organisation, statutory authority or emergency service.

Where correspondence or behaviour appears to involve potentially criminal activity, Great British Pen Pals may refer the matter to the police or another appropriate authority where we consider this necessary and appropriate.

The safety and wellbeing of those involved will always be our primary consideration when deciding how to respond to a serious concern.
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A Final Word from Great British Pen Pals

These guidelines are not intended to take the enjoyment or spontaneity out of writing to your Pen Pal.
They exist to help everyone feel safe, respected and comfortable while taking part.
Great friendships can develop between people of completely different ages, backgrounds, cultures and experiences. We encourage you to be curious, share stories, ask thoughtful questions and enjoy getting to know the person at the other end of the letter.

Please remember:

Be kind.
Be thoughtful.
Be respectful.
Respect boundaries.
And if something doesn't feel right, tell us.

Thank you for helping us make Great British Pen Pals a welcoming and safe community for everyone.